Things are not simple. People are not simple. Life is surely not simple. ________________________ A pause. Is it just an artistic statement or a gap in time? I use the word 'pause' often. Telling my friends many times a month "stop. pause. breathe.". This is what i've always thought one to need when things get complicated or stressful. It has seemed like the only right thing to do. The rational and logic. For the first time in my life, I wish someone could prove me wrong. That someone would tell me that i'm not out on deep water when speculating in the idea of 'pause' being a prolonged hesitation or reluctancy towards the unforeseen and the problematic.
'Space'. Another of the words I frequently used to put in my mouth, chew around and spit out in every other conversation or discussion.
It felt suitable for many reasons and had beautiful connotations with it. Cosmical space. Blank spaces to keep sentences clean. Studio space. Space out.
Today. And I hope only today. I dislike space. It brings me to think 'drowning in space' meaning 'disappearing into nothingness'. Funny, how things can change so drastically. Where is the journey in between? When does it happen? From wanting space in all its forms and praising it to dispise and fear of it. I'm given it. Almost for free. But I don't want it now and I question it is what is needed. Tomorrow I might dare to take the word back again. Even like it. That scares me. I want to go on the journey. I want to understand. I'm trying. When I read back at this later. I hope I have a good laugh and think 'Daniel, what did you actually think?'. I can't do that now. And I can't feel or predict it. Seemingly, I couldn't predict that I would one day think "the road isn't a lonely one after all". I will go to bed. Taking the last sentences from an old favourite. Beautiful Mess by Jason Mraz. It does shed some light on the situation of today. Positive. Keep this. "Through timeless words, and priceless pictures We'll fly like birds, not of this earth And times they turn, and hearts disfigure But that's no concern when we're wounded together And we tore our dresses, and stained our shirts But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it."